Look To The Hills — Faith Reflection for Women

Last week was one of the hardest weeks I have had in a long time.

I had been planning, preparing, and believing God for a fresh start in a new city. I packed up my life, loaded my children in the car, and drove three and a half hours full of hope and expectation. I was ready. I had done everything right.

And then everything fell apart.

The money orders I needed to pay my move-in fees were gone. They had been stolen. Just like that, the plan I had been holding onto unraveled right in front of me. Three and a half hours from home, with my children watching, with nowhere to go.

Fear set in immediately. Thoughts racing through my mind like a freight train, one after another.

What do I do? Where are my children going to sleep tonight? Should I have even moved? Is this a sign? Why did God allow this to happen?

I could go on and on.

When You Are Too Angry to Pray

I have to be honest with you I couldn't pray. I was angry. I was disappointed. I had trusted God with this move, and I could not understand how He could let this happen.

Have you ever been there? Too hurt to pray. Too disappointed to worship. Too confused to hear anything clearly?

That is exactly where I was standing in that parking lot, watching my children wonder what was going to happen next. And when my daughter looked up at me and said "I want to go home" that broke something in me.

I drove all the way back from where I came. Defeated.

My stepsister took my children and me in that night. And through the anger and the anguish I was slowly trying to find my way back to God. Not because I felt like it. But because I didn't know where else to turn.

The Shift

I started to count my blessings.

It sounds simple. Almost too simple for what I was feeling. But I started small. I have a place to stay. My children are healthy. We have food. Nobody is hurt. The plan is delayed not destroyed.

And for that, I gave thanks to God.

I began reminding myself that God had already made a way for my children and me. The place He had for us was still there. It hadn't disappeared it had simply been delayed for a little while. What felt like a closed door was actually just a pause in the story.

As I reflected on everything that had happened I started to notice something. It wasn't the circumstances that were destroying my peace. It was fear. Anger. Disappointment. Those three things were making it impossible for me to see God in the middle of what was happening.

And then I heard these words in my spirit:

"Look to the hills."

Where Does Your Help Come From?

"I lift up my eyes to the mountains where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."
— Psalm 121:1-2

This scripture hit differently in that moment. Because lifting your eyes to the hills is a choice. It is not a feeling. You don't wait until you feel peaceful to look up. You look up first and the peace follows.

David wrote this psalm as a traveler looking toward the hills of Jerusalem, knowing that was where his help came from. He wasn't writing from a place of comfort. He was writing from a place of journey. A place of uncertainty. A place of not being there yet.

Just like me in that parking lot.
Just like you in whatever you are facing right now.

The hills are not the circumstances getting better. The hills are God Himself. And looking to Him doesn't mean pretending things aren't hard. It means choosing to fix your eyes on the One who is bigger than what you are facing even when what you are facing feels impossibly big.

What God Was Doing

Here is what I know now that I couldn't see then.

God was not absent in that parking lot. He was right there. He was in my stepsister opening her home. He was in my children being safe. He was in the strength I somehow found to drive home instead of falling apart completely. He was in the small still voice that said look to the hills when everything in me wanted to look down.

He was working even in the delay.

He was protecting even in the loss.

He was present even in the anger.

That is who God is. He doesn't leave when things get hard. He doesn't disappear when our plans fall through. He doesn't abandon us in the parking lots of life. He meets us right there in the mess, in the confusion, in the not yet and He whispers:

Look up. Your help comes from Me.

For the Woman Reading This

Maybe you are in your own parking lot right now. Maybe your plan just fell apart. Maybe you drove three and a half hours toward something you believed God for and came home with nothing but questions and a broken heart.

I want you to know that is not the end of your story.

The delay is not a denial. The setback is not a sign that God has forgotten you. The closed door is not proof that He doesn't care. Sometimes God allows the disruption to protect us from something we cannot see, to redirect us toward something better, or simply to remind us that our help does not come from our plans it comes from Him.

Count your blessings today. Start small if you have to. And then lift your eyes.

He is still there. He is still working. And where He is taking you is still worth trusting Him for. 🤍

Tadaryl Hills

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